The Kraken

6:58 A.M.

I have unleashed the Kraken.

Today the Kraken is ANGRY.  So, so very angry that he's been awoken from his slumber.  His night light is no longer "lighted".  He doesn't want to wear a "Spide-man" shirt.  I poured the milk too fast into his cereal bowl.

And you know what the real kicker is in this morning's show?  It's 27 degrees outside, there's an inch of ice covering the driveway and my 3 yr old Kraken doesn't want to go to daycare, HE WANTS TO GO TO THE BEACH.

(As many of you may know, 3 yr olds don't simply take "no" for an answer.  Really, if we could all just go around acting like a 3 yr old- can you imagine what the world would be like?  Our shoes would always be on the wrong feet, we'd be throwing up candy everywhere, we'd be grumpy as shit, we'd have skid marks in our underwear... I mean the list just goes on and on.  Keeping ourselves from jumping on and breaking the furniture would be nearly impossible if we were adult size with a 3 yr old mind set!)

"Sure, Kraken, we can go to the beach another day, but not today".
(Kraken) "Can we go last year?".
"..... sure.  Get in the car".

I mean, really though, can you blame him for wanting to go to the beach?  The idea of the beach is so enticing.  I think even more so as you become an adult with real responsibilities.  The beach is an escape.  Who doesn't want to drink rum and lay with a pirate?  (Oh, that's just me?  Carry on).

"Everyone" is always singing about the beach- toes in the water, ass in the sand, am I right?  Some beach, some where.  Which beach would you choose?  Miami?  Hawaii?  Fiji?

Just stay out of the water.  Sharks, Krakens, you know.


Image from:
http://www.fubiz.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/the-kraken-existence2.jpg

Picture this:

Picture this:  There was I, walking through the grocery store, baby A-train in the grocery cart seat, R-dog and T$- little duckies following closely behind.  I, in my fanciest hoodie, hair pulled back in an almost 1980's like hair do.  Why yes, I see shoppers looking my way.  I know, I know, my children are adorable.

But wait! Oh shit, where are those little f*ing ducks?  I mean, "oh where art thou blessed children?". Titan has tackled Ronan and they are wrestling on the grocery store floor.  In front of the cheese section, in case you were wondering.  I only received a few glares as I pulled Titan off of Ronan.  What ever, people.  At least my kids have shoes on, Ronan's may be so clearly on the wrong feet but his underwear is on the right way, so we're actually a step ahead of yesterday.  

Screw it.  I wasn't going to drink anymore, but these THREE BOYS have driven me to the brink of insanity.  Pick up a bottle of wine, errr, not for me though, for the hostess of a party we'll be heading to later!  I know she'll have wine.  We're two birds of a feather.

Back to the store though!

Let's go wait in line for deli meat!  Yay!  Who wants some salami?! And as Atlas starts to get fussy, both Titan and Ronan are on either side of the grocery cart, pretending to be dinosaurs.  By no means are boys pretending to be dinosaurs "quiet".  

"Roooaaarrr!", yells Ronan.

"ROOOAARR!!", yells Titan.

Atlas is laughing hysterically.

At this point, I can't help but laugh either.  If you want to roll with me, you better be damned sure you can handle the 3 of them!

We're available for live entertainment at birthday parties and small group events.  Cost is only a bottle of wine :)

Cheers!

BFF

Tonight my friend is a glass of wine.

Last night my friend was 3 pomegranate martinis and my newest BFF, A.  

It probably sounds like I drink a lot, but I don't, I promise!  I just happen to blast it on social media when I do.

Tonight's glass of wine, ok 2 glasses, and the 3 martinis last night remind me though of how important it is to have friends.  Not just people you wave to as you come and go to work and the store (not talking about you here, CDCP Momma Mafia! I love you guys!) but the legit ride or die bitches.  Just kidding.  

My boss brought in a case of wine for us to distribute as part of our Christmas gifts.  I was going to choose one of the white options, but my co-workers, my best friends, told me to try this sweet red.  I did and I love it!  I never drink red wine!  Although the rumor going around is that drinking one glass of red wine is the equivalent of one hour of exercise for your heart.  I'd like to see the real stats on that study or at least participate to score some free booze!

Some of our friends bring out the best in us, others well.... They bring out the FUN in us!  ("S Club WHAT*- that's a little shout out to you, my dearest A, A, M and K!). 

And of course theres our "mom" friends.  The ones who nod in sympathy as poop falls out of your 3 year olds underwear on to the floor in her newly renovated, beautiful home.  (Wait, has that only happened to me?!)...moving on.

As someone said to me this weekend, girlfriends fill a void in the heart.  It doesn't matter if you see each other for only a few hours once a month or for 40 hours a week, it is a much needed sisterhood. Share your deepest secrets and laugh together at the mistakes you've made.  And by all means, use terms of endearment like "hoe and slut", that's how you know shit's real.  

So drink up that booze your BF thought you'd like because at some point, a true girlfriend will know you better than you know yourself.  Cheers!

Fit into the box!

A new year will be upon us pretty soon, and I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.  A LOT OF THINKING.  Instead of the generic, "New Year, New Me", my resolution is to write more.  So, look forward to some completely random postings about love and life with 3 little boys.

This morning I was thinking about who I am, who I was, who I'm going to be and how that impacts my boys lives.  As a mother, like many of you, I worry about so many things.  I always want the 3 of them to just BE, be THEMSELVES and in this world where the message is often, "But you must be different than what you are", I worry that they'll be put in a box that doesn't fit.

So we're all supposed to fit in this ordinary box, right?  It's the only box that's accepted, so either adapt to the box or fail.  Fit in this box and then stay there the rest of your life because that is who you are.  It is who you are and always have been and if you change, if you dare waiver, then it can't possibly be you.

But what if the box never fit in the first place?

Recently I took Titan shopping for felt so that he could make a gingerbread man at school, and I was  reminded that I, his own mother, have already started putting him in a box.  I automatically took him to the "brown" section of felt because gingerbread men are you know, BROWN.  But Titan didn't want brown, he wanted blue.

"But mom, I don't want a brown gingerbread man, I want him to be blue".
"Titan, gingerbread men are brown, not blue.  That doesn't make any sense".

"Why mom, why does it matter if he is blue or brown?  I like blue, its my favorite color".
"You know what, you're right.  It doesn't matter if he's brown or blue, or if you have the only blue gingerbread man in your class.  You be YOU.  Thanks for the reminder, buddy".

I had already put him in that box because I didn't want his gingerbread man (HIM) to be different than the norm.  Shame on me.

I'm looking forward to 2016 and maybe, just maybe, pushing back against the box.


(Told you it was completely random :)  Hope you all are able to navigate through my thought process).