I think that if 3 yr olds were allowed to swear and they knew what swear words meant, I think that the only thing they would ever say would be a big "F* YOU". Because let's be honest, they spend all of their awake time trying to steal your soul. Unless its bedtime, then they just really, REALLY need a drink.
The Kraken went full on Kraken mode a few nights ago. Like, it was so bad that even Davey Jones was like "Oh hhheeeelll no!"
So the baby has a double ear infection (again). I have what seems like a negative amount of time to get My Squad home and fed and out the door again to head to the doctor's office. The Kraken, sensing my weakness, is so, so thirsty because it's probably been 20 minutes since he had a drink.
"Mom, can I have some milk?"
"Can I have some milk?"
"MOM"
"Mom, I REALLY WANT MILK!!!" He screams as loudly as he can.
After shooting laser beams from my eye balls into his skull, I pour him some milk.
"THIS ISNT MILK! I WANT MILK!!!!"
I reply as calmly as possible, "Dearest sweet child, this is indeed, milk." (Because that's what I say when a sea beast is trying to take me out at the knees.)
We're talking full on crocodile tears, stomping his feet, SCREAMING those ear piercing screams that children seem to master as a skill at such an early age.
"NO ITS NOT! No it's not! It's NOT milk! I want milk, this isn't milk!!.......
(pause for dramatic affect)
ooohhh look, mom! A bubble!" And walks away, drinking his "not milk".
Well that's just f*ing super.
WHO ACTS LIKE THAT?! Mentally unstable asshats, that's who. And 3 year olds who basically walk around all day saying F*U.
Where's the wine?
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