If My Three Year Old Was A Dinosaur

If my 3 year was a dinosaur, surely he would be a velociraptor.  Short, sneaky, can sense when prey is near.

Imagine if you would, a pack of wild 3 year olds.  They would last way longer on their own than our suburban adult friends.  Because 3 year olds, well they just don't a give shit, and they especially don't give two shits.  

1)  Like a velociraptor, a 3 yr old packs a lot of punch in its 35 lb frame.  They have no problem attacking you should you turn off Paw Patrol, deny them cheese crackers or dare put their shoes on the right feet.  

2)  They are sneaky as shit.  Velociraptors are quick and light on their feet.  Do you ever actually hear a 3 year old get out of their bed and walk downstairs?  No, you don't know they're there until out of no where you feel warm breathing on your neck.  Which is terrifying, by the way.

3)  They can sense their prey is near.  Naked and about to get in the shower?  They show up.  They know when you're most vulnerable.  When you first wake up and you haven't had coffee or an energy drink and this happens:

"Mommy!  Can I have cookies for breakfast?"

You, still only one eye open:

"Sure, babe!  Hold on let me also get you some chocolate milk and a popsicle."

... 10 minutes later...

"THAT LITTLE SHIT!"

So, what have we learned?  A pack of wild 3 year olds essentially can fight off an enemy and sneak through a forest undetected as they stalk their prey.  As adults, we'd be too busy fighting over which way was North and we'd try to make sense of the situation.   And then we'd die because most of us don't even have basic survival skills.  Velociraptors don't give a shit which way is North.   And 3 year olds don't either and that is why our species has survived as long as it has.  Next time you see a 3 year old, thank it!